The young man in this video might want to prepare a little bit more the next time he attempts armed burglary. Admittedly, I have no experience in this field, but I would probably think things through enough to put my mask on before entering the store:
As I mentioned last Friday, I just had surgery last week to repair a hernia . . . so, I have that going for me. I’ve spent the last week doing nothing productive except trying to heal (unless you count attempting not to scream like a little girl every time I sit up in bed or slightly bend to pick something up as “productive”).
Here are some of the best things about recovering from surgery for a full week:
1) 15 out of 24 hours of each day are spent on the couch.
2) Since I’m prohibited from typical physical tasks such as lifting, bending and twisting for about 6 weeks, I get to use a Nifty Nabber (not made up, this is really the awesome name of the product). They’re not just for 85 year-olds anymore, folks! As my wife puts it, the Nabber resembles a pair of giant tweezers, and I’m convicned there’s nothing it cannot do. I’ve really just been living the last 10 years of my life looking for an excuse to have one of these devices, and now my dream is finally realized.
Nifty Nabber, How Did I Live Without You?
3) As I’m on the computer most of the day with nothing else to do, I get to find out who is off task at work by seeing who updates their Facebook page during regular work hours. For a few minimal payments I will not notify the proper authorities. Sure, you could claim it was during your lunch break, but I’ve never had lunch breaks at 9:30, 11:15, 2:07, 3:41, and 4:59 before. 4:59, huh? You really couldn’t wait that extra 1 minute, when you’d be off the company dollar, to let the world know you were “Going to the Gym” or “Meeting my BFF for pizza!” I’m pretty sure no one really cares about that activity except for your so-called BFF, and you’ll be seeing her in 5 minutes anyway.
Here are some of the worst things about recovering from surgery for a full week:
1) No matter how much I don’t want it to, Sportscenter keeps showing the same highlights over and over again. Yes, the broadcasts from 9:00 AM to 3:00 PM are live, but apparently not much changes in the sports world in the late morning hours. I guess that’s where prime time programming gets you. The major TV networks really don’t consider those of us who are temporarily homebound as an important demographic.
2) I get to spend 15 out of each 24 hours on the couch – this is on the “best” and “worst” list because it is both a blessing and a curse.
3) I feel like I’m getting stabbed when I try to stand up or slightly adjust my seated position. No one likes being stabbed, so this is a no brainer for the “worst” list.
As the weeks go on, I’m sure I’ll be able to regale you with more exciting tales from my experiences under the surgeon’s knife. As for right now, I’m just trying to remember what “outside” looks like.
I Think That's Called a "Tree"